Years ago, I read a book called Composing a Life by Mary Catherine Bateson. Bateson is the daughter of anthropologists Margaret Mead and Gregory Bateson. I had picked up her book not just because the reviews were terrific, but also because the idea of a “composed” life seemed so amazing to me, with its connotations of order and purposefulness and control. It seemed almost mythical, given the realities all of us deal with on a daily basis.
True to its reviews, the book was engaging, inspiring, and beautifully written, weaving the life stories of five notable women into a tapestry of survival and achievement. But it was evident that these women weren’t so much composing their lives as improvising them, as I think is the case for most of us, men and women.
Life rolls us with a wave, yet we somehow manage to come up sputtering for air, sand stuck in all the wrong places, but determined to find better footing before the next six-footer rolls in. We improvise – create solutions on the fly – because life so rarely slows down long enough for us to methodically compose our answers to its challenges.
There are some personalities that thrive on the exhilaration of this sort of crazy tap dance, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that not many of us do. Nevertheless, anyone dealing with a disability had had to deal with change or get run over by it on a regular basis. In the interests of not becoming road-kill, many of us have spent years working on those improvisational tap dancing skills. And like most skills, how you think about your moves, how you visualize your actions, and how you perceive your environment determines how effectively you execute in real life.
By now we’ve all given up on the fantasy that perhaps change would give us even a bit of a breather, would leave us in peace for awhile, and have come to grips with the fact that change has instead taken up permanent residence in our lives. I usually figure an average month brings us at least one new technology, 10 hot new management buzzwords, 20 new acronyms, and a global workforce landscape that is increasingly unrecognizable.
Our options are deal with it, or be derailed by it. Can we control it? Not a chance. Can we manage it? Possibly.
However, I suggest a third approach. One where we embrace change as energy flowing through our lives, energy that can bring us growth, opportunity, and renewal if we are open to it.
Basically, we can develop the attitudes and approach that allow us to manage our responses to change. Instead of reacting defensively, we can take charge of what change means to us, how we deal with it, and how we define success relative to change. Essentially, we can design our own change agenda and with it, our own change process.
Reframing Change
Most of us associate change with loss, especially if that change has been based on a newly-sustained disability. We’re all familiar with the phrase “comfort zone,” and we know that one of the challenges of change is that it pushes us out of that familiar space. Reality? This is not a situation most of us deal with well.
However, If you’re adamant that fear not keep you from exploring new professional opportunities, one way to deal with your own fear of change is whenever possible to reframe its role in your life.
Consider reframing your approach to change by focusing on the benefits it brings. First, create a professional agenda that sets out a map of what you want to achieve, how you want to contribute, and what you want to learn over the course of your career. Obviously, that agenda will be continually shifting to reflect new paths and priorities, but overall, it can help you see that without your willingness to embrace—if not create—change in your life, none of your goals will be attainable. Over the years, you may come to see change as the provider of new opportunities for personal and career growth and of new ways to contribute professionally.
Creating Change Strategies
Okay, reality is that simply reframing your approach to change probably isn’t going to make the fear factor go away, but there are some “coping strategies” that may make change easier to deal with. Here are some to practice when you’re ready to get proactive about change and your career:
• Whenever possible, assume a leadership role in your own life; understand that you’re in charge of your choices
• Embrace “beginner’s mind,” and get comfortable with not knowing; this will let you learn new skills
• Develop a sense of adventure
• Honor your sense of humor
• Respect your need for comfort, but push yourself outward when you can
• Develop your strategies for dealing with chaos, which often accompanies change
• Learn your risk-taking style
• Understand your own – not others’ – definition of success
• Invest yourself in the process, not the outcome
• And, perhaps most important – develop an expectation of personal resiliency
