“The good neighbor looks beyond the external accidents and discerns those inner qualities that make all men human and, therefore, brothers.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.
We are all different. Which is good: the best things are achieved in life with the combination of all kinds of minds. And certainly people with disabilities, who often see things through a different – more expansive – frame than those without, understand how valuable multiple vantage points are.
But how do we learn to understand, respect, and work with those differences?
Personality Types
Understanding personality types is helpful for appreciating differences, recognizing that everyone has a value, particular strengths and qualities, and that everyone should be treated with care and respect. Understanding some of these differences can dramatically increase our awareness of how we come across to others, how and why conflict can develop, and how to understand and manage our own needs when interacting with a team.
People rarely set out to cause difficulties or upset – we just behave differently from each other because we are different.
Team Dynamics May Sharpen Differences
These differences can become especially clear – and challenging – during any sort of team effort. For example, a team I was recently part of had a very diverse personality make-up. We had a clear and commonly held goal, to ski across the Greenland icecap, yet we had unclear roles throughout the run-up to the challenging journey.
Due to our combination of personality types, and an overriding desire for harmony, we struggled with conflict when it arose. With such a compelling objective and a limited time frame to achieve it, we didn’t stop to take the time to understand our differences – why some were frustrated, even angry, why others felt uninvolved, why others were baffled by the apparent disharmony.
Although we successfully achieved what we set out to, it was with varying degrees of enjoyment and respect - if we had taken the time to consider our differences and how this influenced the difficult situations that arose, then we might have completed the journey with solid friendships and team spirit.
We See Through the “Normal” Lens
One of our limitations is to assume unconsciously that we are normal, and to make an evaluation of situations based on our own concept of normality. The differences between people have a massive impact on relationships, and on working culture. If we judge the way someone behaves from our own standpoint, then it leaves us less empathic, less respecting, and more conflicted with the people around us.
The difficulty lies in trying to get beyond our “normal” lens to see everyone (including ourselves) as individual – and one way to do this is to explore some of the many personality tests that help us see ourselves and those around us in a more realistic light.
Personality Tests Can Help with Leadership Development, Team Building
Personality theory and tests – also known as psychometric tests - are often used for leadership development, team building, training etc. They offer useful frameworks for improving our knowledge of motivation and behavior of self and others. A wide range of different personality and motivational models and theories exist, and each one offers a different perspective.
Much of personality testing is based on establishing your preferences. A preference is what you like. You may like, or prefer, coffee over tea. You may prefer reading books to watching films. This doesn’t mean you won’t sometimes choose, or be pressured to choose, tea or a film. Personality preferences are like any other preferences – there is no right or wrong.
Why not test yourself, and see if you develop a better understanding of who you are – and who the others around you may be. There are hundreds of free personality tests online (from Google, type in “personality tests”), or you could start with the best-known of all the personality tests – Myers-Briggs. Or if you’d like a broader exploration of personality-type thinking, check out one of the many excellent books on the topic of personality types.
Bottom line: If we develop an ability to respect what seems different to us (and from us), it will be easier for us to broaden our vision and understand the value of each individual. And if those of us with disabilities can master this broader view of value, then perhaps the rest of the world will as well. Now there’s a true example of the impact of leadership.
